Giddy Girlie

This week is Spring Break - woooooo! That means that all day tomorrow (my only school day, and thus my only school free day) I will be rockin' it at the MTV beach house or some other hip happening Spring Break spot. Wait, sleeping in 'til noon is considered 'rad', right?

Pack up your emergency kits, something big is going to happen :

• Mitch Hedberg has died.
• the Pope has received last rites and may end up being taken down by a UTI
• Terri Schiavo's battle is over
• Ozzy don't need no water, let the mutha fucka burn
• they're giving Omorosa 15 more minutes, but at least they're bringing back Balki
• someone is stealing dog poop

Posted by giddygirlie at 1:36 PM | Permalink

Fun Fact!! If you google images for "mia" these are what you will find :

Posted by giddygirlie at 1:10 PM | Permalink

In addition to enough candy to feed an army (read : Evan), I also got myself a really RAD red sunburn on my chest and shoulders. Woot! If the pictures from yesterday turn out, I'll post them. I haven't burned myself this badly since... um, last Spring when I went out w/o sunscreen and turned PURPLE and had to sleep topless and charge $1 per peep to the line of hot guys standing outside my window with ladders. *sigh* I guess it's that time of year again... to become BFF with SPF 64. Oh, base tan, where art thou?

Posted by giddygirlie at 1:01 PM | Permalink

blogbligated -- when you have a sense of responsibility to report something that you have seen in your 'real life' on your blog.

example : an actual conversation with someone at work.

her : are you rockabilly?
me : ...um... huh?
her : I just learned the word 'rockabilly' and my friend was showing me some pictures of these rockabilly people and I saw the hair and I said 'oh, you know who that is? That's Mia from work'.
me : oh, hee hee... yeah, I like rockabilly music.

Posted by giddygirlie at 7:29 PM | Permalink

Band : Oingo Boingo
Are you male or female? : Cinderella Undercover
Describe yourself: On The Outside [Looking In]
How do some people feel about you? Can’t See (Useless)
How do you feel about yourself? Fill the Void
Describe your ex-boyfriend/ex-husband: Controller, Piggies
Describe your current boyfriend/husband: Violent Love, Not My Slave, Wild Sex (in the Working Class)
Describe what you want to be: Mama
Describe your current mood: Only Makes Me Laugh
Describe your friends: Where Do All My Friends Go?
Share a few words of wisdom: Gratitude, Try To Believe, Ain't This The Life

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:42 PM | Permalink

If you want to know who sucks as a singer, see this man.

I heard that he worked with a certain songstress who shall remain nameless (just think teen-ish superstar whose parents like to sue the shit out of bloggers who trash talk their daughter) and that when the vocals were recorded that she sang so terribly off-key and out of sync, that the singing machine couldn't fix it! Apparently, the machine works by tracking a note and then balancing it out, to make a bad note sound... less bad, sometimes even good. With this poor girl, though, she couldn't come within the recognizable range for the machine and it kept failing, thus producing an accurate recording of what she sounded like : awful.

When he advised Major Corporation that their new pop princess just didn't have it in her, he was given tens of thousands of dollars extra to go back and "make it work". He literally had to work word-by-word with her to get the machine to capture what needed to be recorded.

She has since sold millions of copies of her record and she is a big fat millionaire, making money from records and concerts, who can't sing.

the title of these posts refers to the fact that these are true events, although they didn't happen to ME. I have written the stories and used pseudonyms to protect the innocent and idiodic alike.

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:46 PM | Permalink

At precisely the same moment he began to pound on the glass, he was overcome with water. Tens of gallons of salty seawater poured over his head and down across his body. His first instinct was to thrust his arm into the air – thereby protecting the smoldering cigarette. His second thought was to scream : “Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!” The cry was so shrill and so loud and so piercing, that it was thought to belong to a woman.

Jesse flailed around, trying to wipe the salt water from his eyes, blow it from his nose, when he slipped on the wet floor. His arm was still held high in the air, like a Lady Liberty extinguished. The cigarette butt was limp and black. He laid there on a metal grate, flat on his back, the pain still not occurring to him yet.

When he finally opened his eyes, he expected to see fish flopping on the pavement. Seaweed and urchins splayed out across the floor. He thought that he would look like a shipwreck survivor from a cartoon –- torn pantlegs, thread-bare shirt -- but instead he looked like himself. Only wetter. His jeans were drenched and clung to his legs. His grey t-shirt now looked black. His cigarette was nothing more than a dripping butt of black. Through the glazed-over view from his stinging eyes, he could see his Frat Brothers, doubled over with laughter. He saw the small children with big eyes, half-scared, half-amused. Lastly, he saw the sign : wave action every 8 minutes.

the title of these posts refers to the fact that these are true events, although they didn't happen to ME. I have written the stories and used pseudonyms to protect the innocent and idiodic alike.

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:45 PM | Permalink

Posted by giddygirlie at 10:19 AM | Permalink

But, let me say this : George Bush - stay the FUCK out of family matters. I don't care how much you're trying to kiss up to Florida and groom Jeb to take over the White House. Allowing Congress to call a special Sunday session to sneak a bill into action and then the ONE time in your presidency when you got off your lazy ass and ended your vacation early it was to sign in this bill that affects ONE person and tramples on the rights of everyone else.

Michael Schiavo, husband of Terri Schiavo:"Right now I am very outraged. This is a sad day for Terri and this is a sad day for everybody in America because the government is going to trample on all of your personal and private matters. This is an outrage, they have no business in this matter. Terri made her wishes, it has been adjudicated in a state court over the last seven years. Eighteen judges have heard this. Appeals have been heard. The Supreme Court justices have heard this, and now the House of Representatives and the Senate are saying that they are wrong. They are thumbing their nose up at the constitution." [taken from Democracy Now!]

Just because you don't like the decision, doesn't make it wrong.

Posted by giddygirlie at 2:04 PM | Permalink

Instead, a bullet list titled "my weekend" :

• Flogging Molly spanks my ass -- and I love it!
• I want to have 100 red haired children who play accordian
• what's up with the old lady hogging the good spot along the bar to make. her. grocery. list.
• if you like Ashlee Simpson, please leave. yes YOU
• drunk in a kilt and an IRA shirt
• lotsa connections at the Geek-a-zoid Con
• saw batman, robin, transformers AND porn stars
• also, I fell in love with Chris's wife, Jamie, who is the most adorable pregnant lady ever. Here she is looking ghetto fabulous.

One of her shower gifts was an embroidered wife beater with the baby's name on it -- also a gold necklace charm with the same. She's the best looking Baby Momma ever!

Posted by giddygirlie at 11:08 AM | Permalink

Also, I didn't realize until just now that you can see my Tinker Bell necklace in the picture - oops. Yes, I really am THAT kind of nerd.

For all of you kind folks who asked (and subsequently said 'oh, that's cool, I guess') : no, I am not going out boozing tonight. I am over-extended right now and just don't have time for frothy green beer and sobriety checkpoints, sorry. Instead tonight I have to do my homework and read like 5 chapters before class tomorrow, pick out my next microbial samples*, finish the new website that I am building for someone - possibly update my own, plus get to bed at a decent hour (I have been up since 5am) and get to school earlier than usual. PLUS tomorrow, I have 6 hours of school, come home, catch up on work, and get ready for my real St. Patrick's Day plans : Flogging Molly at House of Blues. Saturday, we have a full day of the convention (big pimpin'! Hire my husband! Help me option a book for a movie!) - if you need any autographs or pictures or whatever, email me! - if I get a chance, I'll have Lou Ferrigno do an audioblog post or something. Sunday, we have 1/2 day at the convention again, and then off to Jamie & Chris's baby shower. It's a couples shower and ALL the men are shaking in their boots, afraid that they have to play the poop in a diaper game.

I also have to give Danny a smooch for giving Ryan props in his recent interview for the San Diego Comic-Con. It's a month old now, but I just found out that he stops by my site now and then and needs more mentions.

Ok, so I am officially signing off for the weekend. See y'all Monday! xoxo

*we have to bring in samples of things in our house that are sold as 'antibacterial', like soaps and cleansers, etc. and we are going to see how well they really work. If anyone has anything that they want to know if it really works, email me before 8am tomorrow.

Posted by giddygirlie at 2:05 PM | Permalink

Ok, I know it's nothing new to complain about cell phones, and everyone complains about everyone else's phone, but not their own, but today it's at the front of my brain, so bleh... now it's here.

This is what I have to say : if the girl in the cubicle next to mine doesn't start turning her cell phone on silent - or at least a 'regular' ring tone - I am going to strangle someone. Probably her. I hate the midi version of the Sex & the City song. I hate midi reggae. I hate the bleep-bleep-bleep noise when you get a text message. HATE. Choose one ring tone, use it for ALL CALLS and then put the damn thing on silent when you're at work. ESPECIALLY when you're not at your desk.

Thank you,

Grouchy Neighbor

Posted by giddygirlie at 9:50 AM | Permalink

• it's best for my overall dental health
• the problem tooth may only 'hold up' for another 2 or 3 years before a cap is mandatory

• Mexico rules - plus Jake & Katina are begging us to go.
• I've never been to Paris.
• special rate for off-season travel to the Caribbean. $89 a night for St. Lucia!!
• free airline tickets don't use themselves!! but they do expire - so I need to go somewhere
• annual bonuses are coming (yay!)
• the penny jar is full to the top again (woot!)
• all the bathing suits and summer togs are out at Target and I am in love with the stripy green tankini
• I am willing to wait for new jewels and baubles until next year (I like this setting - what do you think? I already have a princess cut center stone in my wedding ring - which is really plain and I need some pazzazz)

Posted by giddygirlie at 4:35 PM | Permalink

My contribution, a year too late :

"if you're going to call Child Protective Services about [little boy] then I'm going to have to ask you to resign. [The School] will not stand behind you, and I have too much at stake here to risk losing it over a few black eyes"

Because you want to know : yes, I resigned and yes, I called CPS. This boy - and his mother - were clearly physically abused by the father and since the boy confided in me, and the mother was half-way reaching out to me for help, I refused to let them down. The result being that the child was pulled from The School, but turned up in another school where my friend taught with a new name - the whole family had changed their last name, and at least to my knowledge the child's name was changed too, but they didn't change towns. CPS was not able to ever give me further details on the "case" once I gave my formal statement. I was subsequently refused payment for my accrued vacation time or sick leave and found out when I received my final paycheck 4 weeks later that there had been a "status change" in my position and title (a demotion) that changed my hourly pay rate significantly. Also a statement from The School saying that my resignation made me ineligible for Unemployment and if I chose to attempt to collect Unemployment, they would seek legal recourse. Assholes.

Posted by giddygirlie at 9:53 PM | Permalink

Instead, I will tell you the only joke that I have heard this week :

A family of moles lives on a farm, and one day the Dad mole pokes his head out of the hole and can smell the breakfast from the farmhouse. "mmm... I can smell bacon and sausage. man, it really smells good out here." The Mom mole smooshes in next to him in the hole opening, so she can smell too, "mmm... I can smell pancakes and waffles. man, that really smells good."

The Baby mole tries to smoosh between his parents, to smell the wonderful breakfast, but it's too crowded. "Hmpf. All I can smell is mole-asses."

Posted by giddygirlie at 5:37 PM | Permalink

RYAN.
They were wrong. On that show the other night.

MIA.
What the hell are you talking about? [sets book on side of the tub]

RYAN.
That show. On VH1. Those people weren't geeks, they were nerds.

MIA.
Yay. Mystery solved. Anything else I can help you with or...?

RYAN.
No, I mean those people were nerds. Nerds are obssessed with stuff - like computers or D&D or aliens. Geeks aren't like that - they just aren't as cool as the other kids.

MIA.
Oh. Interesting. [under her breath] Mr. Segue.

RYAN.
Well, I'm just kind of... well, not really offended, but kind of... I don't know. I mean, I was a geek. I am a geek. And it's totally different than being a nerd. Sure, a geek can be a nerd and I suppose a nerd could be a geek, but the words are not interchangable. One doesn't necessarily mean the other. Like I am a geek, because I like comics and toys and cracking dumb jokes and hanging out with you - ha. ha. ha. Just kidding - but I am not a nerd, because I don't write computer code for fun or play Magic. It's like the gift vs. present argument.*

MIA.
Hmm.

RYAN.
I should email that show - tell them that these people are not geeks, they're nerds. Geeks don't get shoved in the trash or pantsed in class. That only happens to nerds.

MIA.
It's my understanding that if you're a geek and you think you're not a nerd or vice versa, you're actually a dweeb.

*Tina insists that a gift is something that you ask for and actually want and a present is what someone else wants you to have. Thus, a "gift registry" and not a "present registry"

Posted by giddygirlie at 9:16 AM | Permalink

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:51 PM | Permalink

We did a lab test last week : after washing our hands with antibacterial soap we pressed our dry fingers into a petrie dish with solid agar and incubated the dishes. On Friday, we reviewed what had grown in the dishes on our fingerprints (yes, everyone had growth). After preparing my first Gram Stain (and that went swimmingly, too, thanks) I was able to read the results and as it turned out, the only thing that was growing in pure culture was normal flora and fauna. Yay! That means that I rule : I have clean hands, an excellent manor with petrie dishes, and I rock at Gram Staining. Shit dude, hand me an award.

Posted by giddygirlie at 8:33 PM | Permalink

Posted by giddygirlie at 4:22 PM | Permalink

I was driving back from lunch today and a crow dropped a ketchup packet on my windshield while I was sitting at a red light.

It looked like this :

also, why does MS ClipArt have so. many. crow pictures??

Posted by giddygirlie at 4:42 PM | Permalink

Now I have found out that my name is listed on EVERY high school big-brother-is-tracking-you type of website, along with just about everyone else in my class. I'm sure it's a data feed from somewhere, but my email address/log-in info has been passed along, too. Now that it's been 10 calendar years from my h.s. graduation, I am getting BOMBARDED with emails from these sites, trying to get me to participate in their reunion tracking program - and if I am interested, I can hire one of their recommended event planners (ha!*). So if you happen to see my name on one (or all) of those lists, please don't think that I am an uber-geek who is desperate to know exactly who is attending the reunion.

Plus, this gives me the Part 2 dilemma : attending the reunion itself. For years, I thought that I would go - that I'd want to go. But now as it draws closer, I'm not really all that interested. Is that terrible? I know people who do want to go, because now they are thin/successful/rich and want to show it off and I know people who don't want to go for all the same reasons. So far the breakdown for me is :

• looking at the aforementioned websites, I am hard-pressed to remember most of the people listed!
• I keep in touch with a lot of people from h.s.
• 99% of the people from h.s. that I don't actively keep in touch with I can find with my own 6-degrees of separation game
• I don't really have an engaging tale to tell about my successes/triumphs/weight loss and I don't know if anyone is buying the "I invented Post-Its" routine anymore
• respondants to my survey say that if they did go, they only were glad to see 1 or 2 people and of those who did not go, they say that they didn't want to sleep with anyone who was going, so what's the point. I also do not want to have sex with anyone who might go, so what's the point?

*In case you missed the humor, I am an event planner - this is how I earn my millions.

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:26 PM | Permalink

*"definition : we spoke at events and she was very close with good friends of mine - we did not have slumber parties or carpool or split a BFF charm necklace or anything. We were friendly with one another and that's the extent of it.
**I don't want to be labeled as a 'name dropper' or for people to think that I am somehow more important than I am (because I swear I'm not!) and if you think you know who I mean : no, you can't meet her. I haven't spoken to her in something like 7 years and honestly, now that she is Big Time, I seriously doubt she'd remember me

Posted by giddygirlie at 12:45 PM | Permalink